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Bellows
Music
Willie’s portraits had the lot - Lighting, pose, expression.
The only thing they hadn’t got
Was
decent definition.
It’s no go the Rolleiflex
It’s no go the Exa,
All I want is a light tight box
And
a bottle-glass objective.
Goerdie took a high-speed shot
Of a racing car in
action.
The only thing it hadn’t got
Was
an image on the emulsion.
It’s no go to Invercone,
It’s no go to Weston,
All I want is the setting fixed
At
1/100th f.11.
Sandy got some cotton wool
And swabbed his print with ferri,
Thought he’d made a colour print
When
the whites turned lemon yellow.
It’s no go the M & B,
It’s no go the Johnsons,
All I want is the D & P
And
nothing on my conscience.
Charlie did his “monthly” print
Sent it round in a taxi,
When he heard the critic’s jibes
He
died of apoplexy.
It’s no go the EPS,
It’s no go the judging,
All I want is a straight result
And to hang with all the dodging.
With acknowledgement to Louis MacNiece’s “Bagpipe Music”
1963
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