Poems and Songs

Hints to Darkroom Users

A dark-room is a lovesome spot,

God wot,

And the EPS dark-room can certainly be lovesome

If only members will remember to shove some

Water into the dishes they have been using and thus avoid all

Risk of leaving a deposit of colloidal

Silver or other foreign matter in the dishes

Much against the Curator’s wishes.

Moreover, although physical development is a perfectly

legitimate dark-room affair

It cannot be too strongly emphasized that the apparatus provided there

Is not intended for the physical development of those using it.

Whoever practices all-in wrestling with the enlarger

Ought to have his head on a charger.

The dark-room regulations, it is diffidently suggested,

are intended to be read, marked and inwardly digested

Finally to conclude this somewhat offensive effusion,

I should like to wish utter confusion

On the unscrupulous removers of the Society’s magazines

May the pinholes in their negatives be counted in teens.

“Ogden McNash”


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